


blood is thicker than water, they say.

by HumptyDumpty



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Oz's valet Pre-Abyss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumptyDumpty/pseuds/HumptyDumpty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{theme: family | for the fanfiction contest hosted by tumblr user phunbirthday}</p>
            </blockquote>





	blood is thicker than water, they say.

There was something he had always known. It struck him every time his lips moved on their own accord to utter that one word he could never let go of, _Master_. It struck him whenever the maids eyed him like an abandoned puppy, sometimes even patting his head, as if they would adopt him. 

He was alone in the world.

Not in the literal sense of the term. Gilbert didn't mind either of those two circumstances, especially not the former, for _Master_ also bound him to Oz. As long as he could keep saying _Master_ wholeheartedly, he knew he had somebody he was connected to. But he wondered how long it would be until someone else took away his Young _Master_. Even though the Vessalius had welcomed him kindly, even if they treated him as one of them, in the back of his mind he was aware of the inevitability of such a thing. Young _Masters_ would grow up to be Dukes, and old valets would be left behind. It wasn't his own Young _Master_ 's fault, or anyone's for that matter. It was deeper than human flesh, thicker than Oz's stubbornness.

It was in their blood.

And yet there was no way he could accept this fated loneliness. Were it to take the most ineffable sacrifices, he would always stay by his Young _Master_ 's side. He would give Oz his lifetime: his forever, so that they could both believe in it. Because the dusk was so scary that he always ended up crying himself to sleep, haunted by the thought of a life he might have lived. But how could he have even lived it in the first place if he didn't remember it? And suddenly he would realize that he was hugging himself, breathing heavily, with a splitting headache and arms so tense they throbbed. He would close his eyelids shut, focusing on something, anything, sometimes recalling his first night at the mansion. It was a mess of yelling and hair-pulling and Oscar bursting through the door to assure him of a monsterless place. The man's hands were too big on his head, almost as if he was being grabbed, albeit in extraordinarily gentle manner. They hadn't changed since then. 

It wasn't monsters he was frightened of. Well, he was partially afraid of them, that childish fear is natural at a young age. What plainly terrified him though was not knowing who he was or where he was heading, having nowhere to return to either... not quite sure of having found somewhere to stay: waking up Oz in the mornings, seeing his lips part slightly and breathe out his name in a drowsy whisper was enough to remind him continuously that he had. Soon he would be chased in the halls again, his Young _Master_ flashing a grin brighter than even the light of day, but there was something very warm about it. And in the evenings they would be sitting in the garden, running after butterflies. He had discovered that there was something warm about scraped knees as well. 

If his life was like a cold dark alley, Oz was the ray of sunshine glimmering on the uncertain paving, guiding him forward. But sometimes that would disappear, because the blond was lost in his own maze, concealed by a brittle smile. Those were the obscure days. Without a guiding light, he wished he could take all of Oz's sorrow, let Oz's darkness devour him instead. He wouldn't have regretted it. What he regretted was not being able to.

Home is where the heart is, and his heart was with Oz. His heart was with the young lady Ada, with her sweet quiet smile, and even with her early bloomed passion for the morbid; only, not with her cats. His heart was with Miss Kate and the other servants, and last but not least his heart was with Oscar, who had granted his second (rememberable) happiest moment yet: come to think of it, Oscar was at all times the one to rescue them as though a father. That blurry day in the basement, after being locked by the Young _Master_ 's father's command, Gilbert had never doubted that what he had done was wrong. He had been not only foolish but presumptuous enough to dare stick his lowly noise in the matters of the Vessalius family, causing his Young _Master_ to endure an even worse punishment than him. Still, the man hadn't looked down on him once. Oscar had grabbed his shoulders so terribly softly and whispered, it's okay, you and Oz need each other now. It's okay, I know you acted for his sake.

'I want to be his family from hereafter', he wished he could have brought himself to reply, 'I want to be his family, to be beside him when he grows up to become someone like you.'

He longed for the warmth the Vessalius seemed to radiate. That warmth was certainly family. But as soon as he tried taking one step closer, already anticipating it, he would always feel something cold crawling up his legs to his core, intoning a cruel chant. Lesser, replaceable, bound to become unneeded. He could still see Zai Vessalius' appraising eyes towering him.

Was he alone in the world?

**Author's Note:**

> The idea sorta came to me after fiding out that the commonly understood meaning of 'blood is thicker than water' is apparently incorrect, for the original saying should be 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'. And... that's it! I hope this didn't come out too bad.


End file.
